We can do hard things
Thank you. I received lots of love and well wishes in response to last week’s post.
It’s true. Things are hard in my world right now. My kids are really having a hard time - but so are so many teens. It is a mental health crisis. Alzheimer’s is heartbreaking for everyone involved.
But I can do hard things. (Thanks Glennon Doyle for the truth bomb phrase).
We can do hard things. Because if I can, you can.
We can make that decision, for ourselves, to shift from chaos to calm; even if it feels impossible.
Last week I gave some ways I did that. And we can call it “Step One”:
Being Present.
It’s like holding a plank pose for 5 minutes. A simple concept, but holy shit; so hard.
Yet the more we do it, the stronger we get and the easier it is.
And so we cultivate a relationship with the present moment ALL DAY LONG.
Does that mean I'm in meditation all day long?
Um no. I’m not.
Does that mean I’m not thinking? No. Thinking happens, don’t try to stop it.
It means that I use my chaos as an alarm clock to wake me up to the here and now.
What does this look like, practically speaking?
It’s 5 pm and I have two surly teenagers and a hyperactive 10-year-old. I’m hungry. It’s my turn to do dinner.
I open the refrigerator and see nothing that can be compiled into a meal. I know Steve is not a fan of take-out (weird, right?) and so my body tenses, and my mind freezes.
WHAT AM I MAKING FOR DINNER?
I don’t know and I waited too long to figure that out. My mind starts telling me that nothing is possible and ice cream may be the best option. My body tenses and my head hurts.
And I noticed all those uncomfortable sensations. They got my attention. I close the refrigerator and close my eyes. I stand there and watch my breath. I count my breath and I make my exhales longer than my inhales because I know that will calm me down. I feel my body. The discomfort and the hunger. The foggy brain and the urgent nonsensical thoughts. I take a breath, tell myself I'm doing my best, and make pasta and red sauce from a jar.
That is the training for the really hard things. The big changes. The hard decisions. The impossible choices.
Training yourself to be here now as frequently as possible makes it easier.
It just does. There is a reason there are about four zillion books on the present moment.
It’s a thing. And it’s step one.
And often we need help. I have a coach. I have a therapist. I have HELP to keep me on track with following through with my intentions. To keep me on the road to where I want to go.
Because when we do hard things; we falter sometimes (or a lot). But with help, we can get back up quicker, dust off the dirt and begin again.
Of course I am offering myself as your help!
Transform, starting in September with five people maximum, is designed to completely change the trajectory of your life. If that is what you want.
If you need support. If you want to make big changes or create something and you aren’t sure how...let’s talk. I was calling these calls “Clarity Calls” but I am realizing they are “Support Calls”. I’m here to support you.
But you need to take the first step. Book a call. There’s a pretty button. See, how easy?
You can do hard things. And I can help you.
If you want. :)
Love,
Alyssa
