Sharpening Your Tools
I speak a lot about self care. I think I'm so passionate about it because I know from experience what life feels like when I don't take care of my body and my mind.
When I get into a state where i'm too busy to exercise or too tired to meditate or too rushed or hungry to eat well.
It is very easy to get into that place. In fact, I still have to fight the busy back all the time. My mind will say “ oh look at that to-do list! You should skip the gym today and make sure you get it all done”.
Because the world will fall apart if my list doesn't get done. Hm. Another instance where my mind is wrong.
You see, I am a tool. I am a tool that does God's work. And because God works through people, I believe we are ALL doing God's work. I (and you) cannot be effective tools if we are not maintained and sharp.
Ever try to work with a rusty or a dull tool?
It doesn't work and neither to we when we don't take care of ourselves.
Many years ago – when I was single and working in a hefty paying job – self-care came easily. Yoga felt good, time was abundant and it did not feel like a sacrifice to take time to do things for me.
Flash forward 10 years.
I married, grew my family with three daughters, grew my business and learned that you really can get knocked over by the tidal wave of all you ever dreamed of.
Suddenly going to yoga class felt wrong when I had a baby at home.
Taking time for me felt selfish when I was already working 7 days a week.
Meditating took more effort than sleep.
And little by little, I unraveled. And because I'm professional – I saved my sharpest and best self for business (and that wasn't always so sharp or best).
My family got the brunt of my dull blade.
They got moody Alyssa.
Emotional Alyssa.
Depressed Alyssa
Snappy Alyssa.
Yelling Alyssa.
Always Fucking Tired Alyssa.
And then one day it hit me – I was literally surrounded by my dream life and I felt no joy.
Joy left the building.
That awareness was a trigger for me. My lack of joy triggered the beginning of a transformation within me.
Transformation is a process not an event. My transformation took a good two years. Two years to change the pattern of putting myself last.
It took a lot of loving reminders and help from my husband.
It took discipline and constantly making new choices.
It took self love (a lot of that) and constant reminders that if I was happy, my family was happier.
It took an awareness that nothing would fall apart if I took 2 hours a day for myself (remember it took me two years to get this this point).
In fact, what I discovered was not only did things not fall apart – they actually thrived.
My outer world began to reflect my innter world.
I felt joy again and further – joyous, inspiring and exciting things began to happen.
You see, my tool is my mind. When my nervous system is not operating due to lack of movement, silence and stress – my mind is cluttered and anxious.
The body wants and needs to move.
When the body is sufficiently moved -there are less aches and pains, less distracting sensations.
And the mind can become more quiet.
More clear. Sharp.
And in that state: joy is the underlying vibration. Anything is possible.
And because our children learn from our actions not our words; I will be teaching my daughters what it looks like when a woman loves herself, takes care of her body and her mind and is the master of her mindset and her experience in life.
