Letting things go

I love coffee.  No, like, I mean, I REALLY freaking love coffee.

Super strong coffee. No sugar, but light with half and half.

In a big mug.

I go to sleep at night looking forward to my morning coffee.  There were many nights that I'm sure that my morning coffee was my last thought of the day.

Y'all...two weeks ago I had my last cup of morning coffee.

I let it go.  

“Why?” you wonder.

I realized that the coffee was affecting my sleep negatively (I often wake up at 3am and can't get back to sleep), and adding to my tendency for anxiety.  

I don't want to feel anxious, and I really want to sleep well.

My intuition has been pointing to the coffee (as reasons for my anxiety and insomnia), but I've been stubbornly refusing to listen.

Until I listened. And I let it go.

What did that look like?  Well, I started with green tea, so I wouldn't get headaches.  I really don't like green tea, I think it's thin and bitter and boring.  On day two I got really sick.  Body aches, lethargic feeling, heavy and sleepy.  Day three I was normal(ish) still drinking green tea.

Day four I switched to Kukicha tea, which is earthier than green tea and more to my liking.

So here's the thing.  Something happened that I didn't expect.  

Letting coffee go made room for some things to come in.

I'm sleeping much more soundly.  And I'm naturally waking up at like 5:30.  I've always wanted to wake up and do an hour of Kundalini yoga before the kids woke up, but couldn't quite get the energy to do it. It's dark and cold at 5:30am. My bed is warm and comfortable.

But letting the coffee go enhanced the quality of my sleep and now I'm up.  And so now I'm doing my spiritual practice in the quiet of the morning.  Something I've always wanted to do, but couldn't quite make happen.

And this shift happened effortlessly.  I can honestly say that.

I'm even slightly surprised at myself.

And my comittment to my spiritual practice has my re-committing to practice with you. 

As a yoga studio owner and teacher, I'm asking you to practice yoga frequently. To take time out of your busy day and come to your mat.  To get massages or Reiki or other private services to help you to integrate the physical, emotional, and psychological stuff that can come up with a frequent yoga practice.

I ask you to do this and I haven't been doing it myself.  I got really busy again and went down that rabbit hole of busy.

So no more of that.  I'm committing to you all to practice with you at least 4x a week in the studio AND getting massages at least twice per month.

Why? Because I want to feel good. My morning spiritual practice is the foundation of who I am.  My asana practice with you makes my body healthy and my mind open, and I connect with the community of students and teachers on a much deeper level.

So that's me.  That's what I've let go and allowed in.